Halloween is a fun filled time of year with parties, decorations, costumes, tricks and treats. Many wonderful memories are made growing up with special Halloween traditions.

Personally, I love this time of year and have always enjoyed the immersion into another world. Growing up we had Halloween parties, themed food, spectacular home sewn costumes and horror movie nights (age appropriate, mostly ;) ). Hocus Pocus is still one of my favourite movies and I can watch it any time of the year.

Parents often want to recreate experiences that were meaningful to them as they want their children to have the same fond memories.

Over the years I’ve definitely been guilty of forcing “fun” in order to create similar memories I value. Some years have gone smoothly and some have been downright torture – which seems fitting on Halloween but isn’t ideal.

As I’ve gained more first hand experiences I’ve learned and adapted, making Halloween much more enjoyable for our family.

This time of year is often extremely confusing for kids and adults on the spectrum. Their very pragmatic view or black and white thinking may create unsettling feelings as the world flips upside down for only a few days a year.

Why are people dressed so strangely? Are they really bleeding?

Why are there cobwebs and spiders everywhere? Why do they want their house to look old and creepy?

Why are we going to up random houses? Why are we knocking on doors and not going inside?

Why are we taking candy from complete strangers?

So many illogical situations that lead to many reasonable questions.

For a neuro-diverse family it can be overwhelming, unpredictable and stressful.

1. Tour the Neighbourhood

Follow a map, explore the neighbourhood and do a scavenger hunt the week leading up to Halloween. Walking through the neighbourhood and experiencing the unique decorations prepares your child for what they’ll see on the actual day. It takes away some of the stressful surprises.

Print off a map of the neighbourhood can increase your child’s comfort level while adding some fun.

Make note of houses with cool decorations or mark scary houses to avoid. You can even draw arrows showing which way you’ll walk.

Download this free scavenger hunt to do with your kids.

2. Read Halloween Books and Watch Halloween Movies & Shows

Gustavo the Shy Ghost is a cute and colourful Halloween picture book

The more exposure to Halloween themes the more normal it becomes.

Amazon and other online retailers have thousands of books to choose from and get delivered to your door.

Local bookstores are great because they allow you to read through and experience the book before purchasing.

Your local library is another amazing option because Halloween is only a short time of year so investing in Halloween themed books may not be a priority for you. The library will most likely have a table set up with Halloween books during the month of October. Visiting the library gives you the opportunity to look at the books in person. You can also check out and read a ton of books for free!

Big List of Halloween Books by Age

Disney+ has a list of family friendly Halloween movies as well as little kid appropriate episodes for Disney Jr.

Netflix and other streaming services have the similar options in October.

3. Read Halloween Social Stories

Social stories are step by step stories (either printed or digital) that explain a certain experience. It helps kids with autism walk through everyday events and special celebrations. Social Stories take away some of the unpredictability resulting in reduced anxiety and behavioural problems when it comes time for the actual event.

Even as a neuro-typical adult I search out the steps of what’s going to happen before I’m faced with a new experience, so it makes sense that children will benefit from that too.

I’ve put together a social story to help autistic kids on Halloween.

Just download the 10 page pdf. You can print it off and cut the pages in half to make a fun little 19 page book. You can also view it on your phone or other device.

4. Use Everyday Costumes

A go to Halloween strategy is to dress your child in costume or character pjamas or clothing. Most kids now have PJs that look like a Disney character or superhero. Fuzzy animal onesies are hugely popular and easy to find at most clothing stores.

Wearing everyday clothes takes away the added stress and uncertainty of costumes.

Last year 3 of my kids dressed in warm onesies: Jude a dragon, Asher a dalmatian (which was a perfect companion to my Cruella costume) and Leo was Mickey Mouse. Bella dressed as Velma from Scooby Doo and wore everyday clothes we found a Value Village.

Two years ago Jude decided to be a Catstronaut (a kids graphic novel). He wore his astronaut onesie from Walmart, cat ears, warm black gloves and a bit of face makeup.

One year Asher wanted to be Robin since Jude was being Batman. Jude wore a regular Batman T-shirt with the bat symbol and a cape. I found a red polo and some felt and made a Robin shirt for Asher. The rest of his costume, apart from the cape and mask, was his regular clothes.

5. Have Many Costume Options Ready to Go

Back up costumes and other clothing options have saved our lives over the years. I cant tell you how many times we get to October 31st and my child refuses to wear the costume they planned on wearing. It may feel too scratchy, have too many parts, make them feel claustrophobic or they’re just not feeling it on the day – we’ve been through it all.

We usually have a few costumes or fun pajamas lined up as options and the kids choose on Halloween what they’re ok wearing. Forcing your child to put on the mask or cape they insisted on getting wont end well.

I’m not saying that you allow your children to dictated everything they want and you just go along with it.

Demanding a $100 costume and then refusing to wear it wouldn’t fly in my house either.

I’m saying that kids change their minds, have off days and sometimes commit to more than they should – just like adults.

Special needs kids have even more challenges - especially sensory sensitivities – so be flexible and kind.

Pick your battles and give alternatives. Also, don’t spend $100 on a kids Halloween costume, just sayin’.

6. Practice Trick or Treating

Practice makes perfect, or at least doable. You can practice trick or treating at a neighbours, grandparents or friends home – just make sure they know it’s happening. Kids can also practice trick or treating at their own home. Explain what’s going on when you’re doing it.

Grab the Halloween Social Story thats above (Secret #3). It can help with practicing trick or treating.

Here’s an easy way to walk through the process of Trick or Treating.

“I walk up to the door”

“I knock on the door or ring the doorbell”

“Someone answers the door. They could be a friend or a stranger. They could be dressed silly or even scary”

“I say trick or treat”

“I open my bag for the candy or I take one piece from the bowl”

“I put the candy in my treat bag”

“I say Thank You”

“I walk away from the house”

“I go to the next house”

7. Find an Alternative to Trick or Treating

Find an alternative to traditional trick to treating.

Some years we participate in Trunk or Treat, which is where a group of friends gather in a parking lot and handout candy from their decorated vehicle trunks. Kids wander around, visit with friends and safely go from trunk to trunk for treats.

We’ve also had years where we just visit and trick or treat at grandparents or select friends. The kids get a bit of the classic trick or treat experience without it being completely unpredictable or overwhelming.

Other years we’ve had a small party with a few friends or just our family. Keep it low key or go all out – totally depends on your children and your energy level.

Taking your child to the movies is another fun alternative to Trick or Treating. If going out isn’t feasible have a movie or games night at home. We love playing Mysterium or Betrayal At House On The Hill

8. Focus on Handing Out Candy

Have your autistic child stay home and handout candy to the visitors. My kids love coming back a bit early so they can give candy to all the kids visiting.

Answering the door, saying hi and giving a piece of candy is predictable and repetitive. There’s enough unknows on Halloween without throwing Trick or Treating at strangers houses into the mix.

9. Keep Oct 31st Chill

If you’re planning on trick or treating then keep the rest of the day easy. Don’t over schedule your kids with a million crafts, activities and parties.

It’s really easy to want to cram in as much excitement as possible on a day like this but you wont be doing anyone any favours by pushing your child to their limit.

Keep your child’s routines pretty standard for most of the day. If they have an easy day with few changes they’ll be much more able to adapt to the unpredictability of trick or treating.

10. Be prepared on the day

Be prepared for trick or treating by bringing some essentials

- A stoller or wagon so your child can have some quiet time or physical break from the excitement.

- Communication cards so they can request what they want

- ID bracelet or tracker in case they get separated from you

- A sensory bag – noise cancelling heaphones, fidget, favourite toy, blanket or book

- An electronic device for distraction and regulation – This can be especially useful if you have other children who want to continue trick or treating after your autistic child feels done. Put the child in the stroller/wagon, give them a sucker or longer lasting treat and let them play on electronics.

11. Special Diet Alternatives

Kids with special needs often have special diets. Gluten free, dairy free, no sugar, no food colourings, etc. We spent many years as a GFDF family and let me tell you, it wasn’t always fun and it often wasn’t easy.

Some strategies we found useful for Halloween included

- Buy a bag of their favourite treats to switch out candy they collected

- Visit houses with teal pumpkins out front. They’re a sign that the house has alternative to eatable treats – pencils, stickers, play dough, glow sticks, small squishies, etc.

- Bring non candy treats to switch out their candy for – don’t worry child, I’ll eat that Reece peanut butter cup for you and you can have this glow necklace – win win. ;)

12. Skip Halloween

I’m a Halloween person so this wouldn’t be my first choice but its certainly a reasonable one. If Halloween is too stressful for your child or family just say “screw it” and move on.

If you’re really skipping it here’s some tips.

Find out what Halloween activities they’re doing in school (costume parade, class party, school dance, etc), figure out which activities will push your child’s limits, let the teacher and aide know you’re not feeling it and play hooky.

During Trick or Treating times make sure to TURN OFF your porch lights and don’t show signs you’re handing out candy. You can also put up a sign that says you have a special needs child and don’t want to be disturbed.

Put your kid to bed, break out the hidden candy and enjoy an old school monster movie or slasher flick.

If you really love Halloween but your kid cant handle the chaos of it all hire a trusted babysitter or respite worker and enjoy the night in your own way. Don’t feel guilty either!

13. Be FLEXIBLE!

Like with most other situations Halloween is smoothest when the parents are flexible. No amount of preparation can make the actual day perfect. Seriously, it won’t go exactly as planned. Bummer, I know.

But going with the flow and laughing at the craziness of it all makes the day more enjoyable for everyone.

If your child refuses to put on the costume they insisted on getting find an alternative, like pajamas.

If your child keeps trying to walk into every house they trick or treat at keep reminding them of how to do it. Be patient and flexible.

Just take a deep breath and go with the flow.